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[ Psychology ] Open Question : My personality makes me suck at my job?
I just got a new job thanks to my cousins family friend., who Im temporarily replacing. This was for convenience and I was the only person who was willing to agree to take their shifts for the time being, because no one else wanted to be hired for a limited time in this job market, and simply, because I needed a job and this was somewhere where I could start. But Im no good at it. (It's reception)
The very root of the problem is my comfort zone issue. I don't like responsibility and often feel how I would rather be at home sitting on my bed surfing the net. I'm afraid and uncomfortable of doing new things that imply being responsible for things and having to take the lead. Especially at work, I have this horrible fear of doing one things wrong that will ensue a domino effect. What if I mess up the computer system? What if I scew something else up? Press one button and delete all records? Mess up someones money? My maths is so BAD I sometimes have trouble putting big numbers in order!
I feel like Im a dimwit that doesnt deserve to be there because I'm not the type to just jump into the drivers seat and be the one leading and all that "I can do this and this because Im awesome!" kind of thing.
I don't like being assertive. I usually find that assertive people tend to be rude and too much even if they don't intend to be at all. I just dont interpret assertiveness as a desirable trait! Bubbly people are nice and all but I shy up very easily around them and have no idea what to say. Im no good at chit chat. Small talk.
I'm shy. I'm not the type to show initiative. This society just loves loud, assertive, lively, bubbly and borderline chipper people and I'm calm, quiet, understated and wait for people to come to me.
Everyone loves everything done and said in a 'bang-bang-bang' motion. I don't work that way. And nobody fuck-ing gets it! They interpret is as LOW confidence, LOW self esteem. Sue, it's low, but not as low as they think. I keep my thoughts to myself, thats all.
All the experiences I have had in which I try to be this type of loud person end quickly and awkwardly. I TRY being conversational but the person on the receiving end just responds in a way that makes it AWKWARD and I'm sick of blaming myself for their reaction. But how could it not be me who is acting retarded?
I just no longer know how to function at this job, and deal with the stress of it all, handling a hundred things at once. I need guidance.

If youre bothered to read this link after reading all that
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFP.html
This describes me relatively well, but I dont know how others see me so I wouldnt be able to pinpoint on those points.
Thanks for any help!


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